


all along

by chwepen



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, gosh i write fluff all the damn time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 01:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16714318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chwepen/pseuds/chwepen
Summary: He knew in all the smallest moments that you’d be the one he wanted, always and forever.





	all along

He knew once you dropped your book on his shoe. 

The leaves were beginning to change, the coming of fall right on his heels. Passing through the park on his way home, Hansol always loved the wind whipping through the trees as he walked and felt it on his skin. It was the charge in the air, and he felt it all around. 

He also felt the slam of a hardcover book on his foot, nowhere near painful but definitely unexpected. Sometimes he felt the weirdest things were destined to happen to him. His instinct made him jump back, the shock apparent in his body before he saw you scrambling to pick it up and mumbling a thousand and one apologies. “I’m so sorry! I’m so clumsy sometimes, and I was just trying to grab my phone from my pocket.”

“No, it’s okay. Really! I’m not hurt, thanks to my tough shoes.” Hansol laughed and brushed a section of his bangs from his face, wanting to see you clearer without his hair in the way. Even as you were close to crying from feeling so horrified, he thought you were beautiful. A beanie nestled over your head, you were dressed for the weather and the breeze that accompanied it, and he couldn’t stop himself from grinning.

“Well, I’m so sorry again. And thanks for not being mean about it. You’d be surprised who shouts at you if you bump into them by mistake, let alone drop  _1984_  on their shoe.”

“I love George Orwell.” Why Hansol said it with such delight, considering he never read the novel but only knew its author, he’d never know. Maybe something told him the sudden meeting was a sign, and he had to take the sign and run with it if it meant he got to talk to you longer. And with the brightest smile on your face at his praise, he took the plunge. “I’m Hansol.” You said your name back with a shake of his hand. “Why don’t we grab a coffee and talk about it? I haven’t read it in a while, but I’m sure you can jog my memory.”

You blushed and wiped the ground gravel off of the book’s cover before you stared at him again, something hopeful resting behind your eyes.  “I’d love that.”

* * *

He knew when you ran in the rain.

The third date had been your best, set in the same café where you first got to know each other. Hansol laughed to himself at how he spilled his coffee on the table, some dripping onto our jeans. You called it karmic payback for injuring him that morning, all while he apologized a million times. By then, he knew he wanted to see you again.

Walking out together, hand in hand, you smiled one last time at the old woman behind the counter and turned back to him. “I can’t believe I hadn’t been to that shop before.”

Hansol shrugged in response. “A perk of going on dates with me, I guess.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I know some places too! Maybe a bookstore fifteen minutes away. If you’re lucky, I’ll take you there.” You winked, checking the address on your phone before putting it back in your purse.

“Well, I’m pretty lucky all the time. Like when I met you.”

You blushed and pointed in the direction of the bookstore to take the attention off your face, hoping it didn’t become too red from the comment. Five minutes into the walk, the clouds were rolling in and the first droplets of rain fell on the sidewalk. Suddenly, it came down harder, and to your dismay, none of the buildings close by had roofs of cover to stand and wait under. In that second, Hansol cursed the fall weather and how unpredictable it could be.

Of course, you took him by surprise again when you grabbed his hand and started running. It took a minute before you both found refuge in front of a convenience store, but he felt invincible. Even as rain pelted you both and made you considerably wet, he was breathless and alive with a feeling he couldn’t place. The right word didn’t come to mind, but he wanted to hold onto it and never lose it.

You shivered once you made it to the store, realizing you both were completely drenched head to toe. Even though you expected him to be upset at how you were both stuck until the weather calmed down, he just smiled and looked at you like he could for days. Just like that, the pink tint in your cheeks came back again. “Sorry for getting us caught in the rain. I really thought the weather would be nice today and…”

The rest of your sentence drifted away, knowing the rest didn’t need to be said out loud when he kept staring at you the way he did. And amidst the rain beating down on the city, you pressed your lips to his and let the sound of the storm become background noise. The kiss was sweet, accompanied by rainwater and symbolizing the start of something new, something good.

* * *

He knew during your first argument.

Christmas was three weeks away, but since some friends and family were leaving the country on trips, you wanted to give them their gifts ahead of time. That was when you asked Hansol to buy wrapping paper at the store, and by the fourth time you asked where it was, he forgot all about it. With his schedule, it was easy to not remember little things. But to you it was monumental.

“Han, I didn’t ask you once, or twice. Three times! I asked you three times to buy the wrapping paper before today, and you forgot? Did I have to write my boyfriend a memo or jot it down on a sticky note to remember?” You were fuming, but he only looked at you like you were a cute puppy, running around in circles in hopes of catching your own tail. It infuriated you more, and you sat on the couch without another word in retaliation.

You wanted to give him the silent treatment to prove you were serious. Counting the lights on the Christmas tree in your apartment to distract you from your anger and frustration with him helped. By the time you tallied the third row of lights, he sat down beside you on the couch and took your hand in his. For a moment, your anger melted. When he touched you, you couldn’t save yourself from giving in. 

Feeling calm after the spike in your temper but still upset about the situation, you told him what was on your mind. “I just want the gifts to look good, and I don’t want my parents to go out of town without knowing I got them something nice. I know I could give it to them in January, but it’s not the same. And we don’t have stupid wrapping paper.” 

You were pouting and close to crying. Despite himself, Hansol thought you looked even more adorable. He pulled you in by the arm and put your head on his chest. You hummed at hearing the beat of his heart, and he already felt the mood shift back to normal. He was wrong, but he knew how to make it right. “I’m sorry, babe. I’ll buy the paper tomorrow and tell the guys I have to leave early, and then we’ll do them together, okay? I promise.”

You grinned and snuggled deeper into his chest. “You suck at wrapping gifts.” With humor replacing the tension in the air moments ago, you were back on track.

“Yeah, but I’m sure I can learn from the best.”

* * *

He knew when you were there at his bedroom door.

The boys were unsure why Hansol was upset. By the shift in his mood, they knew something was wrong and tried their best to fix it. They came in, brought him food, and even told dumb jokes. When they thought it was serious, they sat him down to talk. As a last resort, they temporarily left him to his own devices and called you immediately. You couldn’t have walked to his place any faster, fearing the worst was on his mind and taking him to a place he didn’t want to be at if he could help it.

You greeted some of the boys when you entered, but your first priority was at the end of the hall. Whether he liked it or not, you would wait all night if you had to. When you tried to open the door, it jiggled with no success. Despite the spike in your nerves, you knew how Hansol was. If he needed to be alone, then that’s what was best for him. 

Sometimes, you gave him the time he wanted and welcomed him when whatever he was feeling went away. Other days, you tried to let him know he didn’t need to be alone. With a calm voice, you chose the latter. “Han, could you let me in, please?”

You couldn’t hear much on the other side of the door, and you knew with the boys’ help you could push in and find out what was wrong. But if he was keeping you out, it was for a reason, and he didn’t want to push you to tell him what was wrong. With no response, you decided you would sit against the door and give him his space until he was ready. Then, the lock turned.

Hansol faced you with the best calm and assuring smile he could create, but from the look on your face when he opened the door, he failed at that simple task. Today, his entire world just felt a little too close, far too compacted, and completely out of his hands. He wanted to run far away and be still for a while, only until his feelings went away. The rigidness of his face and dryness in his throat told him he had no words to say, but apparently, you didn’t need them. He didn’t brace himself for the tightness of your hug, squeezing him in a welcome way. But once he accepted it and wrapped himself around you like a vine, he held on like he believed you would run too.

Without a word, you both crawled into his bed, and you only held him again once he was comfortable. His head rested on your chest, hair tickling the space of your collarbones. His breathing was slow and controlled, but somehow, you knew he was still lost in his own mind. 

Abruptly, you felt tears on your shirt, but he wasn’t sniffling or breathing erratically. You didn’t comment on them. Even if you wanted to, you knew he just needed you to hold onto him and let him weather the storm in all of its worst moments. “I’m here.”

Two words to stop the noise, even for a little bit. He wasn’t struggling to hide how compressed he felt, all because he didn’t have to hide from you. He fell in love with how you held him, didn’t pacify him, and reminded him you were there and not letting him be by himself.

Even with the physical reassurance, he wanted to cement it with words. “Don’t go.” He didn’t know if he meant  _“Don’t go today”_  or  _“Don’t go ever”_ , but his two words did for you what yours did to him. A promise greater than words could ever decipher grew between your bodies.

He knew you were smiling. It wasn’t a beaming smile, just appreciative and small, but he would take it and save the moment for safe keeping. You kissed the crown of his head and ran your fingers through his hair. “I’m not going anywhere.” With the quiet surrounding around him again, as well as your assurances, he felt his world shift back into focus.

* * *

He knew after you had met his family.

Hansol was nervous. It wasn’t a stomach-emptying kind of nervous, or nerves that welcomed him before sending him out to the stage. It was an exciting nervous, one that could make him dance on the road to his family home. A piece of his life, no doubt the best piece, was being shared and introduced to the most private part of his world. He knew it would be okay in the end, but he wanted it to be perfect for everyone. 

By the end of the night, he wondered why he was ever worried in the first place.

His mother loved you instantly. She hugged you and had her hand on your back the entire way to the dinner table, discussing art and Hansol’s early days to your boyfriend’s dismay. His father was kind and introspective, wondering about your family and other interests you had outside of your daily routine. His sister smiled when you talked about her in detail, thanks to her brother’s endless gushing. In return, she traded hilarious secrets with you when Hansol wasn’t looking, and you felt the immediate bond between you and her.

The dinner was filled with laughs and even a few tears, most of them from you. You were happy to finally meet the people that mattered most to the man you loved so much, and you smiled at your first impression going so well.

Since Hansol’s father insisted his son and himself do the dishes together, he watched the three girls in his life interacting from the open doorway. You giggled and chatted like you had known each other way before he ever came along. Through your glee, he caught your attention and smiled at how bright your face looked. You blew a kiss his way, and he caught it in the air with one of his yellow dish gloves as adoration bloomed in his chest. While scrubbing the last of the glasses and plates, he found more reasons to fall in love once more.

* * *

He knew under kitchen lights.

Moving in together, you expected it taking the entire day, and while it did, Hansol laughed at your surprise at packing his stuff up taking less than three hours. You understood he was a simple guy. But even after a year and a half, you couldn’t believe how his wardrobe was the only thing that gave you a headache through the entire process. “How can one guy have this many shoes,” you grumbled as you stuffed them on his side of your newly shared closet.

That being said, the entire week of unboxing and storing, you were both elated. Even if the packing was hell, you were happy that he would be with you in the morning, come home to dinner at night, and sleep beside you until he had to leave for practice. It was another big step together, and being in love with him only made your appreciation for the littlest things, like mismatched coffee mugs, that much stronger.

After you had settled in, you were making dinner for the two of you, a simple helping of pasta with bread toasting in the oven. The only light on was in the kitchen, bright enough to illuminate the space and the dinner table close by. Waking up from his nap, Hansol grinned with sleepy eyes and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“It smells great.” He kissed the curve of your shoulder and placed his chin there, looking at the sauce in the pot simmering.

“It’s gonna taste great, too. Now let me cook, it’s almost done!” You were enjoying the distraction, but you had to finish dinner if you wanted to catch the season premiere of your favorite show. Then again, you knew who would win in your inner battle between Hansol and television.

“No. Dance with me.”

An odd request for sure, but it made you smile all the same and nestle your back deeper into his chest. “There’s no music!”

Hansol removed his arms from your waist and grabbed your phone, opening a radio app and letting the first song on shuffle play through its speaker. Lucky for him, it was a slow song that came up. 

“There is now,” he grinned, pulling you away from the stove and into his arms. He moved you slowly to the guitar in the background filling the space of the song, inwardly making your heart burst. Each sway made you feel lighter in his arms, blissful and in love in every way. Despite the food still cooking to your left and the music playing to your right, it was quiet and safe against his body.

He held on with a warm embrace, happy to hear you humming the tune against his chest and feel the warmth of you so close to him in the small kitchen. There wasn’t much room to dance all around, but the tiny twists and twirls under the lights in the kitchen made him feel at home. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” It was a constant truth, pure and tangible with or without words. He saw it every time he looked at you. Hearing the words while watching the lights shine in the right way against your eyes, he realized when he leaned in that he was a lovesick fool for you and he always would be.

* * *

He knew on that day in October, another year later. 

The leaves were in between green and yellow, some blowing in the wind and falling near the blanket you both were sharing. Your back pressed to his chest, both of your legs sprawled out and almost hit the grass. After visiting your favorite coffee shop, you both decided to spend the day outside. A book sat in your hands while Hansol took in the fall sun in front of him. It wasn’t hot outside thanks to the season, and the sunshine was welcome against his skin.

With a million and one thoughts on his mind, he decided to face the biggest one bouncing around in his head and share it with you. “Have you ever thought about it? Getting married…having a family?” It was weird hearing the words out loud. They were still young, more so than some of their other friends. Asking about something so far away left doubt in his head. Was it too soon? Were you not ready?

“The whole nine yards?” You laughed, setting your book down beside you to run your hands over his on your lap, still warm from the coffee you drank before heading to the park. The blanket was flapping at the corners thanks to the breeze, and you focused on them while replying to his question with your own. “In general, or with you?”

“With me.” Hansol thought about generalities, but quickly brushed them away. He couldn’t bear imagining a future that didn’t have you in it, the possibility of a new person in his life to take your place. If you had ever found someone else that made you happier than he could, he would find a way to accept it. It was your happiness he cared about first. That being said, it was a doubt he tried to brush away too to focus on your response, one that lifted him up considerably.

“Of course I’ve thought about it,” you smiled softly, turning to him and placing your hand on his cheek, brushing the apple of it with your thumb. It was foolish for him to think you’d never imagined anything long-term with him. You loved him with all your heart, and it was impossible to not envision what could be.

“Good thoughts or bad?”

You giggled and pecked him quickly on the lips, hoping to calm the nerves that were alive in his eyes. He could be so oblivious to the obvious things. “The best of the best thoughts, baby.” You faced away from him and to the park landscape, settling back into his chest and wrapping his arms around you tighter.

He found comforting humor in your answer, feeling his heart swell at your thoughts toward what lies ahead involving him, and most importantly, being good. With that, the idea of a future he already saw so many times came through clearer than it did before. By then, his heart and mind were set, and the time to ask you if you wanted to turn that future into a reality was soon.

* * *

He knew, more than before, when he got down on his knee.

November on the beach on the other side of the country sounded crazy. It would be insane to someone else to spend a week at a house by the water with Christmas so close. But with both of your families along for the ride, you beamed and agreed to the impromptu trip.

The first day of settling in and visiting the little shops in the beach-town was exciting. Hansol bought twelve little starfish-shaped trinkets for the boys back home, and you and his sister tried on a unique ensemble of fishing hats. He laughed and bought you both your favorite ones. Greater than that, seeing his parents getting along and joking with yours like they were old friends thrilled you both.

Your father’s gesture to the two of you at breakfast on the third day told Hansol it was now or never. “When you get married, you can remember this trip and come back. Make another week of it!” 

You and Hansol immediately tensed, unsure where the conversation would go after that. You felt a bit overwhelmed, especially with the sudden rush of heat in your cheeks. “Dad-”

“No, it’s okay really. And a really great idea, sir.” Your dad winked at Hansol and finished his coffee. Everyone continued eating their breakfast, and once the food was gone his mother gestured the rest of the family members to the kitchen, giving you both time alone. Once they left, Hansol’s hand slid into yours, his fingers brushing the inside of your palm making you smile. “Come with me?”

You walked to the water with your hand in his, feeling the chill in the air with the light of the sun. It was an interest mix of weather, but you loved it nonetheless. Through the beautiful in-between, you closed your eyes and let the sun warm you up.

Hansol took the opportunity to grab the box from the pocket of his coat and take his hand out of yours. Knowing it would be a second before you asked him why he let go, he got down on his knee quickly. You opened your eyes, and they widened fast as he said the words, “Marry me.”

You felt the shock as you stared at the man you loved, down on one knee on the beach with a box in his hand that would determine your entire future. You wanted to ask if it was because your father nagged the two of you at breakfast. You even thought a joke about such a quick proposal being so romantic was appropriate, if only to make you feel less nervous. “What,” you whispered, realizing no words could come up after that. Only he could leave you so speechless.

Hansol cleared his throat and started the speech he prepared the night before, still shaken but determined to do what he planned since that day in the park. “From the first day I met you, I think I always knew deep down somewherethat there was something about us that I wanted forever. And without fail, you’ve given me more than you can imagine, no matter if on some days we’re not at our best. But, even when we’ll face the toughest days ahead, you’ll still make me feel invincible and brave and  _whole_ , as long as I’m with you.” He never cried. The last time he did was so long ago, so far from where you were now, it was hard to picture. Yet there he was, face wet with tears formed with an entirely different meaning behind them.

“In all the time we’ve spent together, in and out, you’re the one I know will always be the person I want by my side, now and tomorrow and every day after that.” Opening the box, you were almost stunned by the ring itself. The diamonds glittered in the sunlight, bright and bold to mirror everything good and warm about the day.  _Beautiful_. ”So, what do you say? Will you?”

You immediately said yes as your eyes watered, one word tumbling from your lips over and over you thought he wouldn’t make it out. The rapid nods of your head made him laugh out loud into the wind and lift you into his arms, elated and silently relieved. You leaned your head in to kiss him once he put the ring on your finger, still shining from the sun. In that moment, the kiss was magical and reminded him of the first one beneath the rain. As husband and wife, it would be another big step in the beautiful love you’d built together since the moment you met. It would still be a long road, one that definitely wouldn’t be perfect all the time. But with pure happiness in his heart, he’d know forever the smallest moments with you would remind him every day why you’re the person he chose to spend the rest of his life with.

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted to my writing blog on tumblr (@chwepen if you'd like to find me there too ♡)!


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